Know Thy Enemy : Everything you need to know about the Mother in law 😱

Disclaimer : This work is a piece of fiction meant to amuse and entertain. Any resemblance to any characters living or dead is purely a result of the reader’s over active imagination and should be disregarded immediately. Enjoy 😘

According to Wikipedia,💻
A Mother in law, is the mother of your spouse . 🙁 Apparently either the founder of Wikipedia is still single, married and forced to lie through his teeth under penalty of death or just plain naive.

Whatever the case ,this seemingly innocuous description utterly and miserably fails to encompass, the vast reality and entirety of this formidable, obnoxious , tyrannical , overbearing , cunning, self proclaimed expert matriarch😳.
Scared😰 yet? Hate to break it you but you will soon find yourself joining the ranks of the countless psychological and physically scarred victims of this narcissistic ,conniving foe.👀
Rest assured she will mark you as her opponent the moment you say the cherished “I do💞”.
But before you start adding unlimited sessions of psychotherapy to your trousseau wish list. Here are a few things that will prepare you for your unavoidable showdown once you set off on your journey of marital bliss 😒.
So put on your wifely armor, and prepare yourself for a lifelong battle🛡. In the words of Sun Tzu ” Know thy enemy”, even if these nuggets of information won’t help you win the war at least you will go down fighting ⚔ .


1- Get ready for a lifetime of being undermined and usurped ,

⚔From laundry, cooking , parenting heck even your clothes ( you dress like a tramp) and makeup ( you make Rupaul look like the girl next door💄).
⚔Be prepared to be criticized and belittled for every single one of your choices the exception being the prized catch that you happened to chance upon: “Her perfect one in a million offspring
✨👶🏽✨”
whose miraculous birth story you will be hearing till your ears bleed . And will never be able to upstage even if you give birth to quadruplets hanging upside down from a broken bridge suspended over snapping crocodiles 🐊. Slight exaggeration but you get the idea 💡.
⚔Of course you will be accused of not properly feeding, bathing, pampering the fully grown 6 foot 185 lb man child (What you thought we were discussing your offspring ?😒) she grudgingly (read hanging onto his pant legs yelling “don’t go! )handed over to you.
2-Anything you cook will be inspected , re seasoned, deemed unfit for human consumption, inevitably be thrown out and replaced by a flourish and to rousing applause 👏 by the two heterogametic specimens in the family. ( Read the docile father in law( who admitted defeat long ago and is probably just waiting for the angel of💀 death to put him out of his misery) and your doted upon naive ( read opportunistically passive /aggressive) spouse.
3– You will forever be playing runnerup 🎖 ( don’t count on Steve Harvey to come to the rescue here 👑).To :
A-The beacon of self proclaimed perfection 🏆in the one woman show of “me, myself and I” 😒. Aka Mother in law dearest.
B- To her female offsprings – namely your sister in laws ( the tyrannical lineage💀must continue )
C- To every single one of your spouse’s exes even if they happened to be ex convicts accused of manslaughter 🔪.
4-Get ready to have your personal space invaded in everyway possible,
From your kitchen cabinets , refrigerators, closet, to your lingerie drawer. (Read keep all things lacy and kinky under lock and key).🗝
⚔Nothing is off limits to this scourging hyena. In fact if in a skewed world, mother in laws would be computer savvy, she would have hacked into all your social media and bank accounts as well.

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5-Holding your tongue ,

will become second nature since you’ll be doing it everyday, 365 days a year for the rest of your life. This is especially true, if you happened to marry into a brown/Asian family.👩‍👩‍👦👨‍👨‍👦👩‍👩‍👧👨‍👩‍👧‍👦
📚Textbook strategies like spelling out your needs , setting out boundaries, voicing your opinions, working out conflicts like a mature adult, will result in bringing about a catastrophic disaster ( read Hindenburg).
And remember that charming, smooth talking hunk💪🏼 who conned you into a lifetime of marital torture. If you are counting on support from him forget it! 🚫When it comes to family drama this mama’s boy will simultaneously sprout the combined characteristics of the deaf, dumb and the mute.

6– So you thought failing as a housekeeper, wife and a human being was bad ?
Wait till you get slapped by the “incompetent mother ” tag. From giving birth to your bundle of joy( Only 12 hours?It took me a week to push your husband out sans epidural💉)!
⚔Everything from holding, feeding , putting the baby to sleep will be scrutinized , criticized and be accompanied by a never ending barrage of unsolicited advice. 🗣
Not to mention the fact that after 9 months and several hours of exhausting labor, the baby will be likened to everyone (from the preening matriarch herself to her second distant cousin twice removed) but you. 😳
7-A photographic memory is a must.

It will come in handy, at various social gatherings where you will be required to recall accurately , the names, glorified pasts, occupations and various ailments of the countless relatives you will be forced to meet and greet. (Don’t forget to ask Aunt S about her third husbands arthritis now😳).

8– Not a fan of daytime soaps ?
⚔Well it’s time to start binge watching now. Because pretty soon you will be encountering theatrics worthy of daytime Emmy nominations – no cable tv 📺required. From feigned heart attacks to sudden bouts of temporary amnesia , to melodramatic recounts of your many faults, to outright hissy fits and temper tantrums. The narcissistic matriarch will stop at nothing to gain her son’s attention and keep it.
9– Your parents vs his,

⚔what you thought only you had it bad? Rest assured your parents won’t be spared from this drama mama either. From why you won’t call his mother “mom” ( I have my own thank you very much, and the same question to him btw),to the no of times you visited your folks and vice versa, to the presents they gave ( nothing will ever be good enough👎🏼). To what you gave them ( A waste of her son’s hard earned money💸). Guess whose keeping score?🤔

10– Finally here’s something you don’t want to hear ,

⚔Every female posses the MIL gene. That’s right ladies we are all born with it. It’s right there innocent, benign just waiting for the moment that XY chromosome you birthed gets ready to be hitched. The next thing you know you will morph overnight into the cunning , controlling monster you once hated. 😖 Your best hope? Take an oath to be punched in the face the instant find yourself committing any of the ergeruious sins listed above.👊🏻

So there you have it loves, all you ever wanted to know about the age old formidable enemy. Hey it’s always good to be prepared even if you will be fighting a loosing battle 😉⚔. Wedding bells anyone?🔔
Until next time xoxo💋

 

Shopaholic Goes On Vacation🛩🐒🐯🦁 !

Hello lovely peeps! 💞
So I had the most fantastic time this past week in beautiful South Africa ✨which explains my absence from blogging . I was too busy chasing lions🦁 , elephants🐘 , rhinos trying to get a selfie without being eaten.


Now here’s the thing usually I don’t enjoy traveling because I hate living out of a suitcase. If I could somehow manage it I would bring my entire wardrobe 👢👡👠👗👚and toiletries along with me .
However since I’m strapped for cash 💸most of the time and would rather use my piggy bank💵 stash for shopping🛍instead of paying the outrageous luggage fees. It all comes down to packing smart to make the most out of your luggage allowance. So here are some tips I learned on my trip that I’m sharing with you hopefully you can utilize them on your next trip 🛩.
👙A multitasking wardrobe as I learned on this trip a few key pieces that you can mix and match to create different looks is the way to go. Here’s my summer vacation packing list:

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👙black maxi dress( old navy) a staple item that looks chic day or night , drapes beautifully and hides all the lumps and bumps ( read bloated belly post breakfast buffet 🍧🍮🍿🎂🍰🍰🍫🍩🍥🍕🍕🍳🍤🍖🍗🧀)🤐 .

👙A denim jacket( banana republic) in-case the air conditioning is turned up to rival the chill in Alaska ❄️🌬.

👙A cardigan (banana republic) in case the ac starts spitting hail stones and snow flakes and the jacket isn’t keeping me at 98 degrees 😒

👙A multi color scarf(banana republic) to change up the black dress for a second wearing ,

👙Cargo pants ( loft) for occasions where I don’t want my dress/skirt up to my head read zip lining 🌪at 130km 😳

👙Skirt (forever 21)and sleeveless top(loft) , just another floaty rotation for the week, the top can be worn with the cargo pants as well .

👙Shift dress , it doubles as a swim coverup and since it’s summer I try to avoid jeans- read legs feeling like boiled sausages in a glued on casing 🌭hot dogs anyone? 😳

👙Sun hat (ripcurl ) keeps the sun’s baking rays off my face and head and looks pretty cute too 😘 { p.s skirts and dresses take up very little room unless you happen to insist on packing a hoop skirt 🙄}.

👙Jeans – yes I know I said it I avoid them, except on flights, emirates airlines always have the air conditioning on super high and my legs get cold I know I’m weird ☹️what can I say . ( lucky lolita, flatters my awkwardly shaped booty like nothing else).💞

👙Shoes – Toms all the way ✨I have walked miles in my toms and they are the most comfortable shoe bar none! And since every shoe I have worn since birth feels like putting my feet in a pond of snapping pirañas 😱trust me these shoes are 💖love for your tootsies❣

👙Flip flops for the pool or beach and one pair of glitzy sandals incase I get an invitation to the red carpet ( like that’s happening 😒) . Shoes take up a lot of room so pack wisely.🤓

👙Toiletries – so on this trip i forgot to pack my shampoo and conditioner and body wash I couldn’t find any travel sizes in the mall and later it totally slipped my mind. Luckily the hotel I was staying at had all Molton Brown products! 😍

The Indian Cress Shampoo and conditioner are the best I have used 😍 Usually the stuff hotels provide is a spin-off of dish-washing liquid and leaves my hair looking and feeling like a bale of straw 😖.

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The pink peppercorn body wash smelled divine and left my skin soft instead of parched and itchy. 💞 I know their products are pricey💰 but do try these if you can you will 💖 them !

👙Try buying travel sized sets Sephora usually has a good selection and you can try brands without paying full price 💸yay!

👙Rechargeable shaver , because body hair will go into overdrive mode on a vacation even if you’ve spent ages plucking yourself like a turkey before leaving 🦃.

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👙Dry shampoo , personally I hate not being able to wash my hair but sometimes you just have to make do , living proof dry shampoo $22 lives up to the hype .

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image👙Makeup , looking gorgeous on a vacation is a must 😍 pack items that do double duty . I love 💖 the it cosmetics vitality flush stain stick that doubles as a lipstain and a blush.
My burts bees lip crayon goes with me everywhere to brighten up my pout in a snap 💋!

If I need extra coverage I carry the it cosmetics celebration foundation it’s small enough to fit in my cosmetics case and goes on without a ton of blending ( a must when you have to make it to the free breakfast buffet on time looking flawless 😁🍳)!
I don’t usually bother with eye makeup so a little liner goes a long way the it cosmetics naturally pretty palette has easy to blend colors that can be applied in a few brush strokes and I can be out the door ✨!

👙Sunblock is a must since I tan horribly, not the glowing golden tan of a goddess 🌟more like a blackened ,burnt toast that gets tossed out 🌚. I slather on Moogoo sunblock in spf 40 liberally before I head out .

image👙First aid kit, pain killers,( headaches from lack of sleep, menstrual cramps yes they will happen when you least expect it{sanitary napkins}😡)bandages, Neosporin ,gauze ( trust me I fell down the stairs leading to the pool and grazed both knees and elbows😳 ).

 

👙Wipes, baby and anti bacterial , you can’t wash your hands everywhere. The wipes can also be used to freshen up your face and underarms 😁. I’ve tried this and it’s a great way to freshen up sweaty underarms midday 🌞 when you can’t get to a shower.💧

👙A hanging toiletry kit ( mine is from Victoria’s Secret) if you can find it makes things way easier if you are stuck with a small bathroom read airplane toilets 😠.

There you have it peeps my travel tips for a casual summer getaway 🛩👙😘!
Share your travel tips with me right here!
Until next time xoxo💋

Liebster Award Nominations!! ✨🎉

Hello lovely people! 💖

Thanks to the wonderful Cinderzena😘 I have received my 2nd nomination for the Liebster award🎊!

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You would think Carolina Herrera or Oscar de larenta would have sent over a free gown 👗 by now 😉!

Anyways thanks a bunch💐 to Cinderzena

a modern day 👑 , Jaffa cake loving Cinderella ✨! Check out her awesome blog and as well those of the nominees below that I have picked out .

But before that here are my answers to the questions asked to me by Cinderzena 🖋

How did you come up with your blog name and how hard was it to figure it out?

👑It was easy peasy actually i adore 💖shopping so it had to be something around that .

What inspires you to keep going?

👑I like making people laugh or atleast enjoy themselves and everytime I see a positive comment it’s like a surge of adrenaline. I mean let’s face it majority of us starting out don’t make any money or fame from blogging so it’s just the love💖 of writing and having your work appreciated that keeps us all going . 💋

Whats the craziest activity you have done in the past three years?

👑I’ve done a lot of crazy stuff in the last three years which I cannot reveal here at the risk of being prosecuted 😇

Country or city life, and why?

👑I’m a city girl born and raised , I can’t stand country life I get bored out of mind if all I have for company is the birds and the bees 😳

Reading or listening to music, and why?

👑I only listen to music when I’m working out or doing something equally boring 🎧. Like washing dishes ☹️. I loved to read , but since Harry Potter I haven’t really found anything that I can be addicted to again 😢📚

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One thing you believed as a kid, but now think it is totally dumb of you to think of.

👑I was a total believer in fairytale romance💖 all through my teenage years and beyond but after being badly burned I now realize that true love and happily ever after doesn’t exist. 💔

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✨Whats the best part about blogging?

👑I can reach out to so many people and make friends ✨💞.I used to and still do at times feel incredibly lonely at times 😢😞 blogging helps overcome that.

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✨ Would you chose swimming in a sea with the possiblity of a shark encounter or bungee jumping?

👑hmm I have a fear of heights so I guess I’ll attempt a showdown with a shark 😲

✨Favorite novel of all time?

👑All Harry Potter books I’m sorry I’m not much of a classics fan 😳

What has been a post in your blog that took the longest to write?

👑Its a post that’s still in the draft stages that I am struggling with for two weeks now 😡 It’s just not funny enough and if it can’t make me laugh then it’s not good enough for anyone else either cause I’m not easily tickled ☹ p.s I’m my own Guinea pig 🐷

Advice to first time bloggers?

👑Don’t get caught up in the number game that I must have 200 followers or whatever. Write with passion and people will fall in love with your work and hit that follow button without you even trying.

❣I hope you guys enjoyed getting to know a teeny bit more about me ☺️ And now here are the rules for the Liebster Award Nominees ✨

1- Thank the person who nominated you , in this case since its me 👑 I would like a poem dripping with gratitude and it must rhyme 🎼😁! Kidding guys ✨

2- Choose your own 11 victims😲 I mean nominees👑 and notify them by posting on their blog 🖋.

3- Come up with your own 11 questions that you will ask your nominees .

And here are the lucky nominees:✨ Check out their amazing blogs covering beauty , fashion, makeup, food and everything in between😍!

themakeupbutterfly

whatkatieroseloves

withallmyaffection

beautifybrooke

fadilahenry

theteekaytake

whathannahsdoing

onlinebeautyfinds

thehappypeachblog

hawthornhazel

ayrgalaxy

Here are the questions for the nominees🎉!

✨what do you think is the most effective form of social media to promote your blog?

✨How long did it take you to hit the 100+ follower/likes mark? And what tips would you give to other bloggers to get there?

✨Your biggest setback in blogging and how you overcame it?

✨One travel tip you live by.

✨Reblog one of your all time favorite blog post here and why you like it 💞

✨The best place for scoring shopping bargains you frequent ❓

✨How do you come with ideas for blog posts?

✨Your favorite makeup brand and why?

✨Have you ever left a mean comment on a video or a blog? What would you say to people who do?

✨If you are only allowed to use two makeup products what would you use? And why?

✨The best present to get you would be?

Have fun answering these questions peeps! 💖

Until next time xoxo💋!

✨50 Follower Giveaway Update! 🎁

To all the lovely people who have entered the giveaway by following my blog please don’t forget to Reblog the previous post and like and comment on Facebook as well ! ✨ I’ll be checking! 😉

Can’t wait to pick out the lucky winner🎁!

xoxo!💋

50 Follower Giveaway🎉✨!!

Hello lovely people!💘

Guess what ? I finally made it to my first

50 followers🎉!!

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Thank you all for showing my tiny blog so much encouragement and support😘!

To a lot of successful bloggers out there 50 might seem insignificant 💧.

But having started out just two weeks ago it’s huge achievement for me that you guys took out the time to read my blog and appreciate my efforts!💞

So as a mini celebration 🎉✨, I will be having my very first giveaway ! 😘

Here’s what the lucky winner will be getting!🎁

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1-Tarocco orange 🍊ultra moisturizing hand cream full size✨ from Crab tree and Evelyn❣For soft and sweet smelling tootsies !
2-Dusty girls lip shine in Argyle pink ❣For a pretty pink pout 👄!

3- Moogoo 100% natural Fresh buttermilk soap❣For smooth , baby soft skin 👶🏽

4-My favorite Burts Bees Lip crayon in you guessed it Redwood Forest💋! The prettiest red ever!❣

All you have to do to win these lovely goodies is :

1- Like & Reblog this post and follow my blog here on WordPress

2-Like the Shopaholic blogs page on Facebook and post a one liner on why you love/hate this blog✨

3-Follow me on Twitter  @NidaNShahzad

That’s it ladies easy peasy!

One winner ✨ will be chosen at random at the end of this month and I will post their name on my blog, Facebook and Twitter🎉.

Best of luck to all of you and once again thank you for being with me all the way✨❣

xoxo💋!

P.S for those of you who don’t have a Twitter account that’s totally ok! You can still go ahead and enter just don’t forget to like the shopaholic page on Facebook and comment ❣😘

Valentine’s Day in the 21st century – Celebration🎉Obligation💰 Elusion 👎🏼

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Every year come February , consumers are subjected to a barrage of Valentine’s Day 💖 related paraphernalia, courtesy of corporate America and their clever marketing schemes. Each one of them trying to outdo the other in a haste to seduce the unsuspecting , besotted consumer into the fabricated world of materialistic romance.
Love suddenly becomes the most sought after and easily available commodity . Ranging anywhere from $5 for cheap, easy love , to over the top, made to order, and priced at six figures.Love❤️ladies and gentlemen is in the air , packaged ,priced and ready to sell.
But how exactly did we get here, what makes Valentine’s Day one of the sought after holidays post xmas?

Even though most historical records credit Saint Valentine as being the brain child of Valentine’s Day . It was good old Chaucer who in the 14th century, officially associated romance with Valentine’s Day upon realizing that :
A)-365 days of reciting love sonnets was too much strain on his limited, medieval vocabulary,
B)-non stop courting by the moonlight was turning him into an insomniac and
C)-he was running out of items to barter in exchange for herbal viagra.

However up to the 18th century the most fervor displayed during Valentine’s Day was the exchange of handmade cards by a besotted few.
It wasn’t until the 21st century that corporations and the mass media realized the potential of commercial exploitation of old Chaucer’s decision . And Valentine’s Day evolved into the commercialized, laced with reciprocal intent, somewhat obligated transaction that we know and love today💘.
The typical Valentine’s Day consumer usually falls into one of the three categories :
1- The Celebrators,🎉
these starry eyed propagators of everlasting romance( usually comprising of newly weds still in the honeymoon phase, and those in the initial, heady throes of romance , oblivious to impending future disasters ) are ready and willing to scoop up all things pink and red and throbbing with passion 😳 in an attempt to woe their beloved.
From overpriced flowers , gourmet chocolates , edible undies and cheesy cards, to Kim Kardashian’s Valentine’s Day special butt and boob venom 😳. These smitten, swooning, over the nauseatingly cheery duo’s are ready to hop onto the love train with aplomb💘.

2- The obligated spenders,💸
This griping ,eye rolling, profoundly sighing group usually comprises of members of the heterogametic sex , who participate in the love fest out of :
A) sheer obligation to prove their undying love and loyalty for the umpteenth time,
B) An opportunity to score bonus points to be redeemed later on in the year – read forgotten birthdays , obscure anniversaries, wet towels on the bed etc..
And
C)mainly to avoid being in the dog house with their significant other- Read sleeping on the couch and no home runs.

3-The lonely haters club,👤
This group includes all the self deprecating, cynical, sulky, vindictive( read freshly dumped), self piteous single people.
These purveyors of anti romantic sentiments while harshly criticizing their happily cooing counterparts, are desperately seeking soul mates ( read -tinder, okcupid, zoosk).
Ready to shed their masks of emphatic hatred towards all things mushy and pink and join the ranks of the happily ever afters💞.

So that’s it for this Valentine’s Day roundup, let me know which category you happen to fall into this year✨

Until next time xoxo💋!

What not to do on Facebook 🚫

Ok here’s some news you haven’t heard before : Facebook is the epicenter of almost everyone’s lives today. At any given time 1.038 billion of us are using Facebook ! Let’s face of it majority of us won’t consider our day as officially underway unless we have logged onto Facebook and gone over our news feed with a magnifying glass 🔎.
There’s no denying it Facebook has a plethora of advantages for its users . It’s a way to connect with loved 💞ones, to share fun ✨memories , get interesting information🤓, have a laugh😅 , learn something 🤔new , get your daily news , catch up on gossip🤐 , stalk👀 your ex, stalk👁 a friend/ enemy you secretly admire 💙 but outwardly hate 💚and the list goes on…
But as with all things good. People tend abuse and overuse Facebook to the point that it becomes quiet frankly an annoying pain in the a** to everyone on their friends list.

Disclaimer: – This article is meant to amuse 😆, so if you are someone who is easily offended, instantly incensed, are looking for a reason to vent , or have no sense of humor😠 . Move on. 🏃🏾

Otherwise keep on reading because you are about to find out just what not to do on Facebook.😉

1- Dont be an obnoxious relationship flaunter,

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I swear if I have to read yet another “#Best hubby ever ! So blessed to have you in my life! Xoxo!” status update I will end up in jail on account of attempted man slaughter.
For the last time ! No one wants to hear your sappy, over the top proclamations of undying love for your husband/boyfriend/ partner.
Instead of logging onto Facebook every time your heart starts overflowing with undeclared love. Do us all a favor, jolt your snoring love machine from his stupor, and enlighten him. I assure you, the 500+ people on your friends list will thank you for this small favor. 😒

2- Keep your food fetish in the kitchen where it belongs,
Unless you intend to send everyone one your list a food package this instant , or invite them all over for dinner, or you happen to be a food blogger . No one gives a shit about what you cooked today. So put down the camera and let us eat in peace you pyscho.

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Still not convinced you have a compulsive obsessive food disorder? Mental health experts have linked taking/ sharing too many pictures of food to mental illness. Time to check into the looney bin pal.

3- The birthday, anniversary , childbirth ranter,
So it’s your spouse’s , boyfriend’s, children’s birthday, anniversary or their kindergarten graduation. That’s just fabulous, so unless your husband is a soldier deployed in Africa, or your first born is in boarding school in Alaska you can very well wish them in person.

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And unless you intend to auction off that birthday cake and all of their/ your gifts, the used gift wrap and all the candles you own and lit just for taking those pictures. There is no need to broadcast them along with an over the top nauseating status update on Facebook , we really don’t care!

4- The accidental supermodel/ selfie queen👑

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Ok here’s are the facts: You are no Kate moss or Gigi Hadid and the paparazzi won’t chase you if you paid them💰. So quit posting pics of yourself casually strolling along fully kitted up and act like someone just happened to snap a few hundred shots of you in monochrome no less and put them up as your profile pic .

Same goes for looking over the shoulder or staring out in the distance accidental on purpose selfies . We are sick of them, spare us, stop fishing for likes and get a life . Or hire a photographer and get over your self obsession once and for all.

5- The over zealous parent ,👶🏽
Yes we know your children are the center of your lives as they are for most parents . Let’s just keep it that way. No one but your family and closest, loyal and obligated friends will want to see and comment on endless pics of your little ones in their rompers, dresses, awake , asleep, on their own , being forced to pose next to stuffed toys, holiday props ,your sleeping husband … You get the idea.

6- The compliment inventor ,😳
So the supermarket, grocery store, gas station clerk couldn’t believe you hadn’t even graduated from first grade and you were the mother of two? Maybe you should stop shopping at stores that:
(A) don’t offer vision insurance to the staff- the guy has cataracts.
(B) don’t mind their staff coming in drunk to work or
(C) encourage the staff to lie through their teeth in order to get tips .

7- Thy mother is thy life,💖

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We have no doubt that your mother is your backbone, your rock , your entire world. We are also 100% sure she would love it if you were to tell her all this in person or over the phone instead of posting it on Facebook along with grainy pics from your unrecognizable past .
Happy Mother’s Day indeed 🎉.

8- The desperado,
yes you know who you are. The attention craving poster of statuses that range from “I’m so alone” , “my life is over”, “I’m pissed”, “feeling so sick🤒” , ” the best day ever!” and “Las Vegas here I come!”.
The fact is. Your cunningly crafted, narcissistic, sympathy seeking, envy invoking attempt is not only glaringly transparent. It is profoundly annoying to the vast majority of people on your list who have zero interest but will nevertheless be subjected to the rants of a raving lunatic.

9- The overly devoted, husband,💞
Re read no-1 on the list then come back here. This guy won’t be able to digest his meal unless he brags about it first on Facebook. “My darling wife made me a smashing meal today!” followed by several pictures of the aforementioned meal probably taken under duress.
Thanks a lot dude! As if the half a dozen pictures your wife posted minutes before, to convince us that your home is an underground 5 Michelin star 🌟Zagat rated restaurant we would never have known . Now why don’t you go wash the dishes and belch out Justin Bieber’s “baby” 🎼to your Martha Stewart while you are at it.

10- The rambling ranter 🗣,
This person has ranting down to a science, politics, sports , religion , social causes. Whatever the hot topic of the moment you can expect an endless stream of opinionated, obnoxious and awkward witticisms.
With an invitation to engage in a ferocious,often venomous discourse in an attempt to shove their righteous beliefs down everyone’s throats.
Hate to break it to you pal , but no one is going to experience an epiphany✨ just by reading your one of your posts.

There you have it people the top 10 things not to do 🚫on Facebook. What are some of your Facebook peeves😡 Let me know !

Until next time xoxo💋!